Freedom of birds

by Angel Unthinkable

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about

This album is the inner depth of my soul and heart it contains all the things that intrigue me like searching for love, meeting despair and going through sorrow it are not only things I created by imagination but also many personal feelings are on here. On the tracks "Yellow bird " and "Until I'm back again" You can hear the struggle through my voice when I lost freedom while being on vacation in Sweden how desperate I was for home when I was innocently locked up in an Swedish institution for three months I recorded those two songs in there during music glass. Music and writing kept me human it was all the freedom I knew and the only thing I could rely on in there. On the track "We miss you so." which is also the campaign song for my blog (Sweden the land without humanity) I made a freestyle about the way Sweden kidnapped my little brother and sister and what its like for a sister to miss them and the this unfair bizar situation is affecting my family.
Those three songs are the foundation of this album and the tracks I am closely connected with. The other tracks I could make by visualizing a certain event, place, time or occasion and I love to make art out of sad things, to lose my mind in a subject that is able to touch people. I hope many souls can connect with this album and the lyrics of the songs.

I recorded nearly everything at home and I sang most songs as freestyles I just let the words flow out of my mind. The way I work on tracks is a strange process which only takes a few minutes per track.
I see at as being a painter only without the paint and if the colors aren't right I just start over again with completely different shades and see if I like it more that way. My album isn't perfect neither would I want it to be since perfect doesn't exist and is a made up word. I do this because I love doing it, I love the way I can just evoke a feeling with my voice and sing the words that are in my mind on that moment by hearing that tune and that very thing is in my opinion what makes my songs so real and different from most.

I'm a new name and I'm very aware of the fact that there are so many big fishes in the ocean together with so many small gold fishes who try to become bigger yet I hope the public gives me a chance to turn into a gold fish and I hope that this first debut album of mine is able to enchant hearts in the same way in which some artists manage to enchant mine.

Enjoy "Freedom of birds." every one !

credits

released February 14, 2014

Kai Engel, Andrea Carri, Soft Notes, Philippe Marin, Those Who Are Weary, Davide Biggi, Peece

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license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

about

Angel Unthinkable Antwerp, Belgium

Angel Unthinkable a 19 year old Artist in love with the truth, the pain, the beauty, the despair and the bliss of the dream called; Life
She recently started singing which became besides the writing she has done since the age of twelve her greatest passion. She's a poet who reads shadows and paints them with different views music is the thing which allows her to dream bigger.
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Track Name: Until I'm back again
I watched all the papers
found myself in the blank corners
I turned all the pages upside down
lies was all I found in them
the ticking of this heavy clock
the constant wondering
"When does it stop"
and when does the truth
come in, come in
cos it takes way too long
to come in, come in
come in

And I speak no more until I'm home again
and I dream no more until I'm free again
and I search no more until I'm found again
and I will breath no more until I'm back again

The silence keeps me away from the missing
the hollow leads all the pain to a different place
and as I sleep my mind starts sinking
down and down in the memories
of the happy life I used to live.

And I speak no more until I'm home again
and I dream no more until I'm free again
and I search no more until I'm found again
and I will breath no more until I'm back again

I've been taken down a path of sadness
that I walk every day and day and day
there's no peace
there's no rest in it
all I can do is hope and pray
that love will win from their game
and that the truth is not in vein
never in vein

(Bridge)
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na
na, na, na, na, na,
na, na, na, na, na, na

And I speak no more until I'm home again
and I dream no more until I'm free again
and I search no more until I'm found again
and I will breath no more until I'm back again

Until I'm back again
Until I'm back again
Until I'm back again
Until I'm back again
Until I'm back again
Track Name: Can´t wait for it to start
I watch myself in the slowness of a motion which can't be found
I seek the unseekable surroundings of who I was
I can't pretend to be one I never was, one I never will
yet I try to pursue it

The little words in my head
spin round and round and round and round
they never were silent for a while
and the further I walk the longer it takes to return to where I was
and the misery stays unchanged untouched of heart

Distracting the form of desire and all the loneliness I can't bare to feel
and you are the question mark leading me to a wishful answer in time
oh I would love to find it in you in me
in all the things we could be of hearts of soul
all the things that went wrong will turn to dust
forgotten by the real sense of us

and I, I can't wait for it to start
I can't wait for it to start
I can't wait to find your heart
I can't wait for it to start
Track Name: Hope for more
I watch the fragmented darker parts within me
oh they fly, yeah they fly by
I breath hollowness in my lungs
and I watch my own blood drip down of me
I never hurt more than this
more than this
more than this

I am the shattered pieces of flowers in gray fields
I hate the sunlight shining on me
cos the winter stays so thick
I don´t want more of this
oh this ocean is too deep all the blue in it slowly leaves
became the kind of bird who forgot how to fly
watching others pass me by

I didn´t speak for so long
I just pretended to say
then you came when I started to give up on me on myself
you are this little light reaching out to me
making me hope for more and more and more
Track Name: Frames of dying trees
I
oh I
I watch frames of dying trees in the mirror reflection of me
and drive through passing cars
they leave me on the backseat
so empty

I
I learned the things I never wanted to be taught
I met so many monsters without hearts
I'm a user of love who numbs her pain
her scars
and an addict of addiction
of all the things I imagine but can not dream at night

Oh free me
Oh release me
cos I don't know who I ever am
who I ever am
don't leave me
I wanna sleep by your side tonight
don't let me die

Keep the cheaters away from me
oh all those sweet enemies
some souls were too ripe for mine
and some hearts were too broken inside
oh I love the real to come to me
to have it and to posses it
to hold it tightly inside of my hands
inside of me
Track Name: I wanna know
I cleared my mind so perfectly
so much I can´t remember my own name
I forgot what remembering felt like
so much I erased the good things as well

Flying with red kites
wondering off in the sunlight
smilling
oh I forgot the smilling
all those first kisses poisoned me

in a way I can't forget
in a way I can't admit
I hate to be hollow
I hate the emptiness that lingers in my veins
I wanna be full of life of dreams of love
I need to be filled with love, love, love

I nearly cut the heart out of my chest
just to see if it still beats
if the blood still reaches it
cos I feel so cold
I wanna be held close
in someones arms

like yours
I wanna have it
I need to get it
I hate the thought of giving in but I gave up so long ago
can you help me win this forever more
I wanna know what it feels like
I wanna know what it feels like to belong somewhere

like with you
just with you
only with you
take me whole as broken as I am
make me full instead of filled with regret
I wanna dream again
I wanna know what it's like
instead of to pretend I wanna know
Track Name: Rain
Can you hear the rain in me
of all those drops falling down from the darker gray sky
can you feel the pain in it
in me
in the air and the way it overshadows everything

Can you breath through the clouds
cos their too thick for me to inhale
and I don't know how to leave the ending out
I don't know how to find it
the release of the unreleasable events within my mind

Past leave me
past I wanna bury you inside of my head
you wont stay
so far away I will push each wave upside down
oh I don't want to be scared of it
I wanna fight the demons I feed each day
and again and again and again and again
every day is a nightmare that leads me to the end

Leave cos I can't breath if this fear keeps me drowning in your lakes
yeah this rain lays too deep inside
inside of me
inside of me
keep my head above water keep me dry
broken windows will find the light
within the broken soul I hide

You watch me from the empty balconies I'm passing by
oh the rain falls down from darker skies
from darker skies
oh the rain falls down from darker skies.
oh the rain falls down from darker skies
from darker skies.
Track Name: Flower girl
Everywhere she goes
she wears flowers in her hair
combined by pink and gold
she's getting older now
all her flowers die in the air
oh lonely heart
broken soul
your fire burned out
your fire is gone
gone

She rests her head on the grass
and she never finds him holding her hand
and she's searching for a kind of light
warming her soul on empty nights
lonely heart
broken soul
your fire burned out
your fire is gone

Breath me out breath me in
she talks to walls
hears them answer from within
and she leaves with empty glasses of the wine bottles he sent
oh she speaks to herself
lonely heart
broken soul
your fire burned out
your fire is gone to sleep

You can rest your head on the sand
of all the beaches you couldn't posses
of all the love you still contain in your loneliness
lonely heart
broken soul
lonely heart don't let go
your fire might be gone
or just lost in the sun
keep on searching young girl
find a new younger one

Breath me out breath me in
stop biting your pen for each spoken sin
don't haunt me with your words
you speak to walls alone
and until you die in the cold I keep you warm
Track Name: We miss you so
It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from as if that little world you always trusted on would keep existing just shattered. Like the ground underneath faded and you are only surrounded by despair within hopeless screams. Promissing yourself to hold them each night before you fall asleep, you can almost touch their soft faces while their thousands of milles away its not the you missing them which kills you its the knowing that they miss you in that same unbearable way. Sweet little brother and sister you will be home again.

I know a place where the grass is green
where the trees are never dying
I know what it feels like to believe in something
Oh I held your baby feet and your little hands
how they surrounded me

Oh I miss you so
and this feeling inside stays unbearable

I hold on to the wishing
all the praying
but it remains unthinkable
that this could happen to us all

Now you´re both so far away from me
and mommy still cries when she´s asleep
and she doesn't even dare to dream
no she doesn't even dare to dream
afraid she might feel
so afraid she might feel

When does it end
when does it end
when does the missing leads us somewhere
when does it stop this punishment

This is the kind of fight we couldn't fight
cos there is nothing true or right
they took you from us reasonless
and we pay the price
for their takes and their papers
oh this goes so far beyond their conscience
while our hearts bleed
how they bleed each night
more dead than alive

Oh we miss you so
how we miss you
oh lord please let them come home

What happened to the kindness to the people
can it not come out of their selfish shell
and show us Sweden's human after all
show us Sweden's human after all

I miss you so sweet brave sister
I miss you so little couragous brother
stay heroes until you're home
stay heroes until you're back home.
Track Name: Snow white
Her hair is dancing in the wind with the leaves
she plays in forest's with the wolves
she flies in circles round and round and round
and she never fears the night which falls down on her

It's a little kind of happy
a little less than bliss
she finds it kind of funny
nothing touches her like this

She ran on great green fields
oh those landscapes out of her dreams
she rescues rabits and birds from death
sings to them at night sweet lullaby´s

It's a little kind of happy
a little less than bliss
she finds it kind of funny
nothing touches her like this

She never crawls back to her castles walls
sweet, sweet snow white feels at home
through the thick woods of the forest
and the blue bright sky is so reacable

It's a little kind of funny
a little less than bliss
she finds it kind of funny
nothing touches her like this
but she's fine with it
she doesn't need a prince
Track Name: Yellow bird
Just before I got lost
I was a yellow bird who knew what life was
my wings forgotten
they fly somewhere in the dust
golden feathers disappear on the green grass

Freedom
freedom
where did you go?
where did you fall down?
come back
I need you now

Surrounded by angels
I once was
living in a castle on a cloud
the windows are shattered
there's no single one around
echoes of crying remaind on the walls

Freedom
freedom
where did you go?
where did you fall down?
come back
I need you now

Driven into the silence of heart
Held together by the missing of what got lost
do you hear me calling to the highway above
to the highway above
to the highways above
to the highway above

Freedom
freedom
where did you go?
where did you fall down?
come back
I need you now

I need you now
I need you now
I need you now
Track Name: Don't speak
It's a quiet sunday morning drinking coffee reading papers
your eyes they look empty reflecting all your lies
oh you still smell like her
and you feel so touched another pair of hands this time

Don't say it
please don't speak
nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me
feed me
please don't you ever leave
nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me

Her cheap perfume the way it sickens me
thinking of a thousands names a million faces while I'll sleep
reading your sweet love notes
pretending you secretly wrote them to me
All those words how they make me bleed

Don't say it
please don't speak
nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me
feed me
please don't you ever leave
nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me

I find myself in your arms again
oh I feel her presence everywhere
she's all over your shirt
even your lips taste like her
and I can't fight it
but I stay so silent
nothing changes as long as you don't say anything

Don't say it
please don't speak
nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me
feed me
please don´'t you ever leave
nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me
as long as you don't say a word to me

Don't tell me anything
don't tell me anything
don't tell me anything
don't tell me anything
don't tell me anything

Don't speak your voice
don't tell me anything
I can't bare it
I can't bare to hear your words
knowing you love her
don't say it
I can't bare it

Don't speak your voice
stay silent
on my sheets
on my bedside
don't speak
Track Name: Spirit of your desert
I am the spirit of your desert
I am the wave that pulls you to shore
and I am the water when you are suffocating
and I am the longing you feel on your lips
I wont let you go at all
stay the sand and the clouds
be the storm make me come around