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Freedom of birds

by Angel Unthinkable

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1.
Until I'm back again 05:15
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I watched all the papers found myself in the blank corners I turned all the pages upside down lies was all I found in them the ticking of this heavy clock the constant wondering "When does it stop" and when does the truth come in, come in cos it takes way too long to come in, come in come in And I speak no more until I'm home again and I dream no more until I'm free again and I search no more until I'm found again and I will breath no more until I'm back again The silence keeps me away from the missing the hollow leads all the pain to a different place and as I sleep my mind starts sinking down and down in the memories of the happy life I used to live. And I speak no more until I'm home again and I dream no more until I'm free again and I search no more until I'm found again and I will breath no more until I'm back again I've been taken down a path of sadness that I walk every day and day and day there's no peace there's no rest in it all I can do is hope and pray that love will win from their game and that the truth is not in vein never in vein (Bridge) Na, na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, na na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na And I speak no more until I'm home again and I dream no more until I'm free again and I search no more until I'm found again and I will breath no more until I'm back again Until I'm back again Until I'm back again Until I'm back again Until I'm back again Until I'm back again
2.
Can´t wait for it to start 04:40
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I watch myself in the slowness of a motion which can't be found I seek the unseekable surroundings of who I was I can't pretend to be one I never was, one I never will yet I try to pursue it The little words in my head spin round and round and round and round they never were silent for a while and the further I walk the longer it takes to return to where I was and the misery stays unchanged untouched of heart Distracting the form of desire and all the loneliness I can't bare to feel and you are the question mark leading me to a wishful answer in time oh I would love to find it in you in me in all the things we could be of hearts of soul all the things that went wrong will turn to dust forgotten by the real sense of us and I, I can't wait for it to start I can't wait for it to start I can't wait to find your heart I can't wait for it to start
3.
Hope for more 04:18
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I watch the fragmented darker parts within me oh they fly, yeah they fly by I breath hollowness in my lungs and I watch my own blood drip down of me I never hurt more than this more than this more than this I am the shattered pieces of flowers in gray fields I hate the sunlight shining on me cos the winter stays so thick I don´t want more of this oh this ocean is too deep all the blue in it slowly leaves became the kind of bird who forgot how to fly watching others pass me by I didn´t speak for so long I just pretended to say then you came when I started to give up on me on myself you are this little light reaching out to me making me hope for more and more and more
4.
Frames of dying trees 03:19
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I oh I I watch frames of dying trees in the mirror reflection of me and drive through passing cars they leave me on the backseat so empty I I learned the things I never wanted to be taught I met so many monsters without hearts I'm a user of love who numbs her pain her scars and an addict of addiction of all the things I imagine but can not dream at night Oh free me Oh release me cos I don't know who I ever am who I ever am don't leave me I wanna sleep by your side tonight don't let me die Keep the cheaters away from me oh all those sweet enemies some souls were too ripe for mine and some hearts were too broken inside oh I love the real to come to me to have it and to posses it to hold it tightly inside of my hands inside of me
5.
I wanna know 04:55
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I cleared my mind so perfectly so much I can´t remember my own name I forgot what remembering felt like so much I erased the good things as well Flying with red kites wondering off in the sunlight smilling oh I forgot the smilling all those first kisses poisoned me in a way I can't forget in a way I can't admit I hate to be hollow I hate the emptiness that lingers in my veins I wanna be full of life of dreams of love I need to be filled with love, love, love I nearly cut the heart out of my chest just to see if it still beats if the blood still reaches it cos I feel so cold I wanna be held close in someones arms like yours I wanna have it I need to get it I hate the thought of giving in but I gave up so long ago can you help me win this forever more I wanna know what it feels like I wanna know what it feels like to belong somewhere like with you just with you only with you take me whole as broken as I am make me full instead of filled with regret I wanna dream again I wanna know what it's like instead of to pretend I wanna know
6.
Rain 03:48
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Can you hear the rain in me of all those drops falling down from the darker gray sky can you feel the pain in it in me in the air and the way it overshadows everything Can you breath through the clouds cos their too thick for me to inhale and I don't know how to leave the ending out I don't know how to find it the release of the unreleasable events within my mind Past leave me past I wanna bury you inside of my head you wont stay so far away I will push each wave upside down oh I don't want to be scared of it I wanna fight the demons I feed each day and again and again and again and again every day is a nightmare that leads me to the end Leave cos I can't breath if this fear keeps me drowning in your lakes yeah this rain lays too deep inside inside of me inside of me keep my head above water keep me dry broken windows will find the light within the broken soul I hide You watch me from the empty balconies I'm passing by oh the rain falls down from darker skies from darker skies oh the rain falls down from darker skies. oh the rain falls down from darker skies from darker skies.
7.
Flower girl 05:39
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Everywhere she goes she wears flowers in her hair combined by pink and gold she's getting older now all her flowers die in the air oh lonely heart broken soul your fire burned out your fire is gone gone She rests her head on the grass and she never finds him holding her hand and she's searching for a kind of light warming her soul on empty nights lonely heart broken soul your fire burned out your fire is gone Breath me out breath me in she talks to walls hears them answer from within and she leaves with empty glasses of the wine bottles he sent oh she speaks to herself lonely heart broken soul your fire burned out your fire is gone to sleep You can rest your head on the sand of all the beaches you couldn't posses of all the love you still contain in your loneliness lonely heart broken soul lonely heart don't let go your fire might be gone or just lost in the sun keep on searching young girl find a new younger one Breath me out breath me in stop biting your pen for each spoken sin don't haunt me with your words you speak to walls alone and until you die in the cold I keep you warm
8.
We miss you so 05:17
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It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from as if that little world you always trusted on would keep existing just shattered. Like the ground underneath faded and you are only surrounded by despair within hopeless screams. Promissing yourself to hold them each night before you fall asleep, you can almost touch their soft faces while their thousands of milles away its not the you missing them which kills you its the knowing that they miss you in that same unbearable way. Sweet little brother and sister you will be home again. I know a place where the grass is green where the trees are never dying I know what it feels like to believe in something Oh I held your baby feet and your little hands how they surrounded me Oh I miss you so and this feeling inside stays unbearable I hold on to the wishing all the praying but it remains unthinkable that this could happen to us all Now you´re both so far away from me and mommy still cries when she´s asleep and she doesn't even dare to dream no she doesn't even dare to dream afraid she might feel so afraid she might feel When does it end when does it end when does the missing leads us somewhere when does it stop this punishment This is the kind of fight we couldn't fight cos there is nothing true or right they took you from us reasonless and we pay the price for their takes and their papers oh this goes so far beyond their conscience while our hearts bleed how they bleed each night more dead than alive Oh we miss you so how we miss you oh lord please let them come home What happened to the kindness to the people can it not come out of their selfish shell and show us Sweden's human after all show us Sweden's human after all I miss you so sweet brave sister I miss you so little couragous brother stay heroes until you're home stay heroes until you're back home.
9.
Snow white 04:25
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Her hair is dancing in the wind with the leaves she plays in forest's with the wolves she flies in circles round and round and round and she never fears the night which falls down on her It's a little kind of happy a little less than bliss she finds it kind of funny nothing touches her like this She ran on great green fields oh those landscapes out of her dreams she rescues rabits and birds from death sings to them at night sweet lullaby´s It's a little kind of happy a little less than bliss she finds it kind of funny nothing touches her like this She never crawls back to her castles walls sweet, sweet snow white feels at home through the thick woods of the forest and the blue bright sky is so reacable It's a little kind of funny a little less than bliss she finds it kind of funny nothing touches her like this but she's fine with it she doesn't need a prince
10.
Yellow bird 04:23
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Just before I got lost I was a yellow bird who knew what life was my wings forgotten they fly somewhere in the dust golden feathers disappear on the green grass Freedom freedom where did you go? where did you fall down? come back I need you now Surrounded by angels I once was living in a castle on a cloud the windows are shattered there's no single one around echoes of crying remaind on the walls Freedom freedom where did you go? where did you fall down? come back I need you now Driven into the silence of heart Held together by the missing of what got lost do you hear me calling to the highway above to the highway above to the highways above to the highway above Freedom freedom where did you go? where did you fall down? come back I need you now I need you now I need you now I need you now
11.
Don't speak 07:25
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It's a quiet sunday morning drinking coffee reading papers your eyes they look empty reflecting all your lies oh you still smell like her and you feel so touched another pair of hands this time Don't say it please don't speak nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me feed me please don't you ever leave nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me Her cheap perfume the way it sickens me thinking of a thousands names a million faces while I'll sleep reading your sweet love notes pretending you secretly wrote them to me All those words how they make me bleed Don't say it please don't speak nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me feed me please don't you ever leave nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me I find myself in your arms again oh I feel her presence everywhere she's all over your shirt even your lips taste like her and I can't fight it but I stay so silent nothing changes as long as you don't say anything Don't say it please don't speak nothing changes as long as you don't say anything to me feed me please don´'t you ever leave nothing changes as long as you don't say a word to me as long as you don't say a word to me Don't tell me anything don't tell me anything don't tell me anything don't tell me anything don't tell me anything Don't speak your voice don't tell me anything I can't bare it I can't bare to hear your words knowing you love her don't say it I can't bare it Don't speak your voice stay silent on my sheets on my bedside don't speak
12.
Spirit of your desert 07:13
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I am the spirit of your desert I am the wave that pulls you to shore and I am the water when you are suffocating and I am the longing you feel on your lips I wont let you go at all stay the sand and the clouds be the storm make me come around

about

This album is the inner depth of my soul and heart it contains all the things that intrigue me like searching for love, meeting despair and going through sorrow it are not only things I created by imagination but also many personal feelings are on here. On the tracks "Yellow bird " and "Until I'm back again" You can hear the struggle through my voice when I lost freedom while being on vacation in Sweden how desperate I was for home when I was innocently locked up in an Swedish institution for three months I recorded those two songs in there during music glass. Music and writing kept me human it was all the freedom I knew and the only thing I could rely on in there. On the track "We miss you so." which is also the campaign song for my blog (Sweden the land without humanity) I made a freestyle about the way Sweden kidnapped my little brother and sister and what its like for a sister to miss them and the this unfair bizar situation is affecting my family.
Those three songs are the foundation of this album and the tracks I am closely connected with. The other tracks I could make by visualizing a certain event, place, time or occasion and I love to make art out of sad things, to lose my mind in a subject that is able to touch people. I hope many souls can connect with this album and the lyrics of the songs.

I recorded nearly everything at home and I sang most songs as freestyles I just let the words flow out of my mind. The way I work on tracks is a strange process which only takes a few minutes per track.
I see at as being a painter only without the paint and if the colors aren't right I just start over again with completely different shades and see if I like it more that way. My album isn't perfect neither would I want it to be since perfect doesn't exist and is a made up word. I do this because I love doing it, I love the way I can just evoke a feeling with my voice and sing the words that are in my mind on that moment by hearing that tune and that very thing is in my opinion what makes my songs so real and different from most.

I'm a new name and I'm very aware of the fact that there are so many big fishes in the ocean together with so many small gold fishes who try to become bigger yet I hope the public gives me a chance to turn into a gold fish and I hope that this first debut album of mine is able to enchant hearts in the same way in which some artists manage to enchant mine.

Enjoy "Freedom of birds." every one !

credits

released February 14, 2014

Kai Engel, Andrea Carri, Soft Notes, Philippe Marin, Those Who Are Weary, Davide Biggi, Peece

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Angel Unthinkable Antwerp, Belgium

Angel Unthinkable a 19 year old Artist in love with the truth, the pain, the beauty, the despair and the bliss of the dream called; Life
She recently started singing which became besides the writing she has done since the age of twelve her greatest passion. She's a poet who reads shadows and paints them with different views music is the thing which allows her to dream bigger. ... more

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